It's Time For Me To Return...For Real This Time!

I know, I have been MIA for some time now. I have been wading in a funk for a number of months, running by myself quite often, avoiding people I know when running waddling. Why? I honestly was embarrassed for people I know to see how much I still suck at running. The thing about sucking is that it is really relative. I may not have made any great strides on the scale, I may still be slow as molasses but I am also still active and moving, which at the end of the day is still more than a lot of people can say. I guess I thought that if I hid, I wouldn't have to be accountable for how much I have been sucking.

I was in Tulsa, OK this past weekend at the Route 66 Marathon weekend. This Sunday was supposed to be the day I would no longer be a marathon virgin. As it turns out this was not going to be the weekend for me to lose my marathon virginity. I won't give you all a huge race report because I am still in the middle of a pity party that might go on for a few more days. My foot started hurting during the race, and by the time we got to mile 10, every step was like a death march, there was no running at that point just walking and SLOW walking at that. When I got to the marathon, half marathon split at mile 13, I just crossed the finish and called it at the half marathon distance. After the finish I was so happy to have finished another half marathon but so sad because I FAILED at the marathon. Don't get me wrong, I do not regret calling it at the half marathon because I am not sure I could have made it with the pain in my foot. I am being a whiney baby, pouting and generally being miserable. Looking at race pictures didn't help matters either.

Ok, so I have been having this self imposed isolation when all the while I have had a wonderful network of supportive running moms. The other runners coached my my coach, the Racing It Off team have been there but I haven't leaned on them when I've needed them, they are mostly in the Dallas area but we have a facebook group where we all connect. Locally, I've had the awesome moms from Moms Run This Town, they have been supportive but again, I avoided in the beginning them because I didn't feel like I was good enough, fast enough to hang with them. Lately though, they have been a huge source of support and love, and it has meant the world to me. In fact, Pam the founder of the organization is actually responsible for me blogging again. Her kind words, love and support showed me that it was time to return to the blogosphere.

So, there it is, I am back and on a mission to stop sucking and be more awesome! I have some big things coming up in my life, I have applied to go back to college in January, I am having lap band surgery in March and lots of other exciting things all to help me stop sucking and be more awesome.