Nobody cares if you're not a good dancer. Just get up and dance. The same holds true for racing. Whether first or last, we all cross that same finish line. Just get out there and run.
- Dean Karnazes

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Well, that was terrifying...

I battled with talking about this here, but I think that being open and honest is what this whole blogging thing is about. First things first, I want to let you all know that I am ok and I am not dying, I have seen a doctor and have been checked out. On Saturday, I thought I was dying or at least having a heart attack. Yes, you read that right, I thought that I was having a heart attack. Let me break it down for you, I had my finals last week, and had been wound pretty tight all week, and it really wore me down physically. I thought that come Friday after the exams were finished that I could finally breath a sigh of relief and relax for a bit before my May and summer classes start. Saturday morning B had an away lacrosse game and we were running a bit behind schedule and had some hiccups that morning, then on the way, there was an accident on the road and the road was blocked for a bit as tow truck was taking one of the cars off the road. This irrationally brought me to tears, I just couldn't bare being late and I think that the stress building up in the days leading up all just came to a head on Saturday. On the road, I started feeling feeling a tightness in my chest that was very alarming, then I started freaking out and I thought I was having a heart attack or something. We got to the lacrosse fields and I calmed down and started feeling better, but needless to say the feeling gave me a HORRIBLE FRIGHT. When we got home, I took and aspirin and started doing some research. Dr. Google and I aren't friends, because all it did was scare me and ramp me up all over again. I didn't have the same feeling but my mind was racing. Come Sunday, I was feeling fine but of course this is still lingering in my head. When I went to the grocery store I once again freaked myself out, and I am not even sure what triggered the feeling.

First thing Monday morning, I was on the phone with my doctor's office making an appointment. I saw my doctor and told her what happened. She examined me and told me that I wasn't having a heart attack, and that what I was experiencing was a panic attack and some complications of my asthma brought on by it. She did recommend a heart scan thing if I was really that worried about my heart, which I agreed to and scheduled, but she said she thinks it will be more to put my mind at ease. It's not covered by insurance but I am going to pay for it just so I can have the peace of mind. So, I'm not dying, but my asthma is really bothering so I am on a new inhaler and another treatment. I am also now to keep track of any times when I have these panicky feelings.

I also went to Weight Watchers yesterday, and was down 2.5 after an abysmal showing the few weeks in that I didn't go to meetings and generally wasn't being more awesome. More importantly and embarrassingly,  the meeting yesterday brought me to tears. I am not sure what exactly it was about the meeting, but I was a mess. I was welling up in the meeting, then had a good cry in the car afterwards. I guess that I feel a renewed sense of purpose and a renewed motivation to be more awesome and less fat and unhealthy.

Holy smokes that was a lot to type, I am not even going to proofread it so I apologize to the grammar police.


BabyWeightMyFatAss said...

Oh hun. I'm so glad it wasn't a heart attack.

I've had panic/anxiety attacks. For a year or so I took a generic of klonopin. It sucked. Clonazepam. (sp?). So i started to take valerian root which is a herbal med and it's done wonders I tell ya.

And crying at WW? If you could see me I"m waving at you. Done it a lot. In fact almost every weekend last year I cried in the car in the parking lot. I think it's a requirement to cry at least once. Everyone gets it. They understand and they will help you. Lot's of hugs.

Arnold Brame said...

I can feel the pain. It is required to let the negative emotion flow by itself. Don't try to suppress it because it is dangerous for mental health.

Health And Safety Consultant Peterborough

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