Nobody cares if you're not a good dancer. Just get up and dance. The same holds true for racing. Whether first or last, we all cross that same finish line. Just get out there and run.
- Dean Karnazes

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Party Ends Now

The pity party that is. I have been down in the dumps and feeling sorry for myself. I still haven't completely gotten over the video thing, and then to add to that I was sort of second guessing myself on the instructor thing. In class on Monday night it hit me, and I could not stop wondering if I had made a gigantic mistake going through with it. Then yesterday, again in class, I was feeling the same way again. I really was feeling sorry for myself. Last night, I was chatting with a friend about the video thing and she brought up a good point which I spent the rest of the night thinking about. She said that old me, the me who was 133 pounds heavier would never have done this. She was right. Had you told me a year ago that I would be doing all of this, I would never have believed you. I guess what it boils down to is that it is tough to see where I am now, it's tough not hiding. It's tough not hiding behind my weight, its not an excuse for not doing things anymore. I know it sounds stupid but I have been working so hard on this and not really dealt with all the emotional crap that goes along with the weight loss. Who knew that the weight loss thing would make me such a friggin' basket case?! For the record, I am still going through with training and I am brushing off the video thing and we are moving on.

In other news, I am headed to the gym in a little while for a long endurance training session with Amy and then a run.

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